One-side Love
It's about ten days from the day that I started to make a conversation with Mr.SWYM.
He told me that he's busy and unable to send me a msg.
I can see that he's always 'Active Now' in messenger app, how weird!
I keep sending him my stupid daily activities.
Even my picture! T T so embarrassing!
He instantly read. What an awkward situation for ME!!
READ BUT NOT REPLY!
I can't help myself from thinking that he might reply to everyone except me.
Because he's bothered by me. Or he has 'someone' in his heart.
I think...with a different language and culture
My dream will never come true.
I can't do this alone.
But I can't hope for more.
Another thing...in the positive way
He might too busyyyyyy. Japanese Style >> extremely concentrate with their works.
There's a little tiny glimpse of hope for me.
OK! Let's get this straight!
I completely know nothing about him.
Every single day, I spend my time guessing, thinking, searching about his actual life.
His life that I couldn't touch or see.
He will never disclose for me. Of course! It's Jap Style. Cold as fish.
STOP! Don't wanna blame him.
I have to blame myself! Why did I have to fall for this creepy guy.(Makes Me too creepy)
He makes me dizzy. I cannot focus on my study.
Hope that he'll send me a short cheer up msg. But there's none.
Nothing from him!
Should I start to give up now?
Why is my heart always filled with hope?
Sometimes I think that I don't try hard enough.
From now on, I will make a conversation with him everyday.
Make him get used to this.
Someday ... when I disappear ... he might realize
there's something...someone missing
I wish I could make a hallow in that damn cold heart once.
That challenges me enough!
:)
A Man Can Hope
xxx
Today I still like you... Mr.Sawayama
05.04.2013
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